Drawn out Drawn together.

When you think of things that are drawn out too long, a few things easily pop into mind...

Summer blockbuster movies - has anyone ever said... man I wish King Kong was just 30 minutes longer... No they haven't. If someone ever actually uttered those words we can logically presume that the person automatically doesn't have friends and nobody actually heard.

Summer classes - yeah the classes are 3 to 4 hours a day... but the teacher is only going to utilize 1-2 of those hours for actually learning, let us go early.

Clayton Goos's meals - nobody is going to argue this point. See picture.

NBA playoffs - by far the most drawn out event on the face of the Earth... There was a time when basketball was held in high esteem by the general populous. Now, if you live in a house and have a job you would rather watch your parents make out. Forty games in forty days. I think that was their slogan.... Things you didn't hear. "Man, I can't wait to get my 40 in 40 on." "Wow, NBA playoffs for over a month, this is heaven." "Wow, I'd love to feel Kobe in my ass for 40 days."

The NBA is lost, it needs parity the same way the NFL does. It is uncomfortable to watch teams play in the championship that don't deserve to be there. The Lakers lack fundamental execution. Their mechanics are about as precise as Michael J. Fox eating a bowl of cereal.

Note - Ajax loves Michael J. Fox, and his advocacy for stem-cell research to produce potentially life preserving treatments for diseases such as Parkinson's.

In Crowd:

Hot: coffee, still..

Not: The informer leaving me out of his latest blog.

Hot: Ex girlfriends not being a dumb box. Being appreciable to people you spent an admirable amount of time with is ALWAYS a good thing. I'll give credit where its due, I was pleasantly surprised by someones actions on 6/14/08.

Push: Argyle knee-high socks with plaid shorts. Some liked it some didn't, judge through facebook.

Not: Leaving the CWS in the 9th right before LSU came from 4 down to beat the Rice Owls.

Hot: Corduroy jeans, still

Practicality:

Do not go to any public pool as a 24 year old male.

Do put dead bugs near an anthill and watch what happens.

Do not sit near John Zelansey while he is coughing.

Do find me another job for the summer... Except Ms. Wiens, who gave my number to some talk Nazi who left a message telling me he wanted me to join his "Business team."

Do read my quotes section and feel free to ask John Zelasney why he said those things.

I am busy in Boston.

My life has been boring the last few weeks. The majority of my time has been spent working toward professional goals (not sexual harassment) and consequently I really don't have anything to complain about. Except Zach Chambers (see Satanic figure in photo).

See, I was discussing the ownership of Clayton Goos's soul, to which Clayton informed me that Zach Chambers (The Clean Update in my links section) has possession from a previous circumstance. Subsequently I decided to text Zach in hopes of attaining CG's soul so that I may be able to return it to its rightful owner, God. Although the value of Clayton's soul has depreciated immensely because of a struggling economy and lack of life quality on Clayton's part, I was still able to conjure an offer of two wrestling trading cards.

After no response, I figured I might have to increase the value of my proposal. I added a pack of Bubblicous to the equation, feeling that I exceeded any expectation set forth by Chambers.

After about ten minutes I received a message "I am busy in Boston". That is it. No alluding to the fact that we might reach a deal. Perhaps he was insulted at my offer, it might be a common misconception that weight translates to worth. Not true.

In all honesty, I believe Zach moved to the East Coast in order to amass a collection. Scouring the city for souls like demon spawn hellbent on a path of destruction and ultimately squaring off against the devil himself with his army of souls... motivated to dethrone the mythical beast and reign supreme in his underworld. Mach the Barbarian.

Sorry to get all dorky at the end.

Shout Outs:

Tiffany Hilgenberg, even though her birthday was pretty much in October of last year she managed to throw a pretty decent shindig at a diggity shint establishment. Happy 24, love.

Kahli Ladd watches adult swim, specifically aqua teen hunger force. Although I am not a fan, if I were I would suspect that admitting such to a female could well be deemed an ominous foreboding that her and I will never speak again. It is unfair that the stigma is not associated with girls.

(Exception: watching the movie "Alien" with Kelly Bentley. After making her watch it she went out and purchased a poster for her bedroom wall.)

Jon Schnepel for using the very glove that helped yours truly become first team... yes FIRST TEAM all conference in high school baseball.... then boldly declaring he will never give it back so he can use it for softball. Legends aren't supposed to be used to make vagina sandwiches and watch lifetime movies, Jon.

Practicality:

Do go to Zelasney's house on a humid and warm day. Who can beat a thermostat set at 54 degrees whether they are there or not?

Do not wear socks with sandals. I thought we could put this one to bed, but apparently we can not.

Do check out Nigel's Treynor Cardinals baseball team at least once this summer.

Do not order a beef and onion pizza from Caseys. Ever since Chad Zelasney changed careers that place has been in a tailspin.

Do figure out how Justin Clausen is dating Kiley Feigenbutz and let another sentient being know.