I hope Claytong makes himself a Jeff Dunham sandwich.

What it iz what it izzz....

Motivated and inspired by The Informer, the blog has returned.

Still 25, still a student... however, there are some exciting, new developments in my life.

OK, I lied. I am at a standstill routine marked by an endless waterfall of work and study. I'm not complaining. Went ten straight days eating at least one can of ravioli. Streak breaker.... Swine flu.

What is worse than swine flu? Jeff Dunham. Swine flu < HIV <= catastrophic end of all life on Earth < Jeff Dunham. It is debatable whether Jeff Dunham is actually worse than catastrophic event. There is, however, strong evidence in favor of my argument; being the case that if all life ceased on the planet, Jeff Dunham would be included.

Why all the hate for Jeff Dunham? He makes people happy.... Does he, really? Watch his act without volume. Study his movement. Glare at his props. Even a four year old would think this guy was a buttflake.

Today was not a strong day for me. I went to McDonalds to purchase a single McDouble. As pathetic as this story is already... I was standing by the register. A girl walked out from the bathroom and stood in line, catycorner to me, and started looking up at the menu. I had an erie feeling that she was going to cut in front of me, so I inched forward. She simultaneously took a few steps forward and actually positioned herself in a spot which was arguably next in line.

I already couldn't believe what was happening. This girl was about 28 years old, 5'8", 140 lbs, looked like garbage, and was probably harboring crack rocks in at least one body orifice. What happened next was unbelievable... She turned her head in my direction and dead eyed me. I thought maybe she was going to ask if I was in line. Three seconds passed and nothing was said. The situation quickly escalated to a territorial battle. The beast was loose. She was the bear and I was the salmon. My eyes immediately darted to the floor. Within ten short seconds the war had ended. I was on my way to the bathroom. I opened the door, looked in the mirror and called myself a pussy. I washed any debris of dignity from my hands, walked out the door and stepped in line behind the girl.

Theres really nothing to learn from this story, except how unimpressive I am in unpredictable situations.

Take home message for the week: Don't waste opportunity. I've done my fair share.